8/30/08 - Jameroo! Dadio! As you may know, the kids and I were at Paynie's View for 8/15. Mom's doing GREAT as is Chris & her kids. Alex, August and I are also doing well although we wish we were closer to ECG's. The property Chris and Mom bought in Bucks County is fantastic and perfect for them, albeit it may be a bit too large to take care of easily, but they will have a good time trying! And we will help whenever we can. We love all the toads and snakes and fireflies and deer!

On the 15th we brought out your ashes and Dad's ashes and set you on the swing out on the porch together. Corny - yes, but for whatever reason, it worked for us. We liked the idea that you were with us at the property and that we could sit there with you for some time and talk about our love and memories.

You are always in our minds and in our hearts.

We love you Jamie and Dad, and hope you are both well.

Chuck & kids

 8/15/06 - It's been a year and I've thought about you every day, Jamie. I don't know if that will change. A lot of the time these thoughts are painful and they generate an amazing cry. But I think as time goes by the thoughts will turn towards the good memories we would share just as if we were still all together. Life is moving forward for the rest of us and we miss your being here while we and the world around us grows.

Still, we are thankfull for what we did have.

You are always in our minds and in our hearts.

We love you Jamie and hope you are well.

Chuck

From Chris: Jamie's group of friends in Rochester are organizing a memorial scholarship fund at the University of Rochester in the names of my brother and father, James Norman Goodenough, Class of '82 and MBA Class of '85,  and Donald Robert Goodenough, PhD Class of '55.  The scholarship needs a minimum of $25,000 in contributions in order to be created, and the annual scholarship award would be based on the interest earned - so the scholarship fund will exist in perpetuity.  The scholarship will be for a student majoring in Entrepreneurial Studies in recognition of Jamie's entrepreneurial spirit and passion.  My father and brother were extremely close.

From Chris:

I have already spoken with many of you personally over the past couple of days. If I haven't, then I need to tell you that my brother Jamie passed away on Monday night. He was 44. He was in the middle of a tennis game and collapsed on the court. Jamie was the picture of health, no vices - it is a complete shock for all of us and totally devastating.

My mother, my brother Chuck and I have found some comfort in the loving words of his many friends. Jamie was a man of tremendous integrity, intelligence, generousity and kindness, and he was deeply loved by a great many people. A huge loss for all of us.

I apologize if there are duplications in the email list or if I have missed anyone. Please forward this to anyone else you think should have this information.

A memorial service will be held on Saturday, August 20 at 11 am (service to start at noon):
BLACKWELL MEMORIAL HOME
21 North Main St.
Pennington, New Jersey 08534
609-737-2900

A private reception will follow at my home:
Christine Roberts and Barry Blount

Love to all -
Chris

Jamie spent his first 11 years in Massapequa, Long Island, New York, before his family moved to the Pennington, NJ area.  He graduated from Hopewell Valley Central High School
in 1978 and went on to study at the University of Rochester and then at the University's Simon School of Business, earning a Master's in Business Administration. He lived in the Rochester area for about 17 years before moving to Bucks County eight years ago, so that he could be closer to his parents and to his sister's family.

Jamie was self-employed in a business where his passion for genealogical research could be used to generously help others recover lost assets.

He was loved and will be deeply missed by many family and friends, including his mother, Mary Payne Goodenough (Furlong); sister Christine Anne Roberts and her husband Barry B. Blount, of Washington Crossing, PA; brother Charles Darwin Goodenough and his wife Marina Inez Poropat, of Los Angeles, CA; and his nieces and nephews: Alexandra Maria Goodenough, August Bruno Donato Goodenough, Nadia Ghani, Caitlin Payne Roberts and Kyle Donald Roberts. James was predeceased by his father, Donald R. Goodenough, and infant brother David Goodenough.

Jamie was a great friend to many many people. He was a catalyst for get togethers and trips, always planning something and including everyone. He was an avid and accomplished tennis player throughout his life.  He was a thoughtful advisor and a brilliant thinker and writer. He was always concerned, interested and involved. Never mediocre, his generosity and his devotions to his family and his friendships were dependable, full of integrity and totally honest.

The family will receive friends on Saturday morning from 11:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon at the Blackwell Memorial Home, 21 N. Main St., Pennington, NJ. A Memorial Service will be held at 12:00 noon.  A private reception will follow.

Memorial contributions in lieu of flowers may be made in Mr. Goodenough's name to the Cardiac Unit of the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia , 34th St. and Civic Center Boulevard, Philadelphia, PA 19104.

03/20/07 by email:

Hi there.

My name is (quite obviously) Kathryn and I live in Toronto, Canada.

I had a bizarre sort of connection with your brother Jamie. Back around 1997 (when I was still quite new to the online world) I stumbled across Jamie's web pages...quite by accident. I was both touched and amused by his philosophical, yet optimistic take on life. And I sent him a message. And we had a correspondence over several months which, though brief in my personal history, I remember fondly. He shared stories about his (your) family, exchanged thoughts on poetry (wrote a poem for me!) and life and books...and even suggested what colour I paint my hallway (I remember him writing "blue is a good colour for a hallway").

Tonight, for some reason, I thought of him, as I was never quite sure why he'd stopped sending me messages. (He likely found a girlfriend. ;)) And so I Googled my way to your memorial page just now and cannot express the sadness I feel.

Chuck, your brother had such a lovely, positive spirit, and I just wanted you to know that, even in a very brief moment, he forever touched (in a positive way) the life of a virtual stranger in Toronto.

And I guess that's quite possibly what his personal philosophy must have been?

I know how fond he was of you and the rest of your family...because he wrote quite lovingly about you all.

I just thought you might like to know.

Kind wishes,
Kathryn

"Stay upbeat...with all the roadbumps we all have faced...keep it all in
perspective. It is human nature to convince ourselves that our
problems...are unique in the world, and to feel the burden is heavy. But
the truth is it's all up to us, and our outlook shapes our destiny".

"We have such opportunities within our grasp, and it is almost our
obligation to the people who struggled before us, to grab those
opportunities, and not retreat ...or sink into inaction."

"Whatever your feelings about the world around you, you can only impact your surroundings if you take hold of them....Engage yourself, learn the things you are taught, and teach back. The world needs help, and you are among the best prepared and best able to do so."

"You are the present-day representative of a million generations before
you, all pulling for your success. Step into the role, and have fun while
you're doing it. You've been given a light which is unique in the world
and the world needs you to shine it outwards. Your ideas can and should
change the world around you for the better, and what's needed is your
active participation. Get the grades, get the degrees you'll need to go
there, and go. Study hard. Take a positive view of things and engage
yourself. If you show interest in your surroundings, and engage people
around you in a positive, outgoing way, you will have the world at your
feet."

-James N. Goodenough '05

10/28/05 From Chris:

Jamie's group of friends in Rochester are organizing a memorial scholarship fund at the University of Rochester in the names of my brother and father, James Norman Goodenough, Class of '82 and MBA Class of '85,  and Donald Robert Goodenough, PhD Class of '55.  The scholarship needs a minimum of $25,000 in contributions in order to be created, and the annual scholarship award would be based on the interest earned - so the scholarship fund will exist in perpetuity.  The scholarship will be for a student majoring in Entrepreneurial Studies in recognition of Jamie's entrepreneurial spirit and passion.  My father and brother were extremely close.
 
The University will be sending out a letter soliciting contributions for this fund.  If you would like to receive this letter, please reply to this email with your name and address.  Please don't feel any pressure to contribute!  I just wanted to let everyone know this is going on, and if you want to contribute, that's great.  If not, that's fine too!  I know many of you have already contributed to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia in Jamie's name, and we really appreciate that.  Some of you are the Rochester friends organizing the scholarship - you don't need to reply, I just wanted to get the word out to others who may not know about it.

A truer friend you could never find
Jim was always first there if you were ever in a bind.

Often I would seek out Jim for advice
He was always thoughtful, wise, and nice.

If the term good listener ever arose
Webster's dictionary had Jim's picture in a pose.

Jim was generous, sincere, and kind
The image of him will never leave my mind.

First with a baby gift, or a laugh, or to pick up the check
Jim was never one to say what the heck.

I knew Jim for about twenty-five years
Thinking of him now brings me tears.

I was around age twenty when we first met
As fellow U of R underclassmen, a suite together we would let.

Who knew that way back then,
That there could be no greater honor than to be considered his friend.

Playing tennis, having picnics, and encouraging friends to get together,
I foolishly thought those days would last forever.

To tennis tournaments, dinners, and movies we would go
Future happy times with Jim I will never know.

Jim was the catalyst for so many good things in my life
His passing leaves my heart full of strife.

It's really hard to put into words all that Jim meant to us, my family and I, but I did want to share a few words about the Jim we knew.  He was one of my oldest friends.  We met as little more than kids and I think today we were just about at that point where we knew what we going to be when we grew up.  Jim was someone who nurtured his friendships and thats why there are so many of his old friends here today.  Incidentally, I always thought I was his best friend, but in listening and reading from all of you, I'm a bit jealous of all his best friends and all his adopted families.  

        Jim was a free soul, and therefore always surprising to someone like me.  Here I was, always retentive about what the future was going to hold, always taking the cautious road.  There was Jim, living life day by day, not over-confident, but totally comfortable with what tomorrow was bringing.  I admired him for it tremendously, and would copy it if I could.  He had this wry sense of humor  that captured this carefeee spirit.  I remember many choice observations including this one "You and I are living proof that really smart people don't always make it to the top".  Another early one that always stuck with me, and I think he attributed to his dad "it's not a problem if you can solve it with money".  

        Jim loved books, words, writing. we were always comparing, arguing about soemthing we'd read, or referring books to one another.  Not to mention bad writers.  I remember he wrote a poem at college, something like  " ode to blonde..."  He had a professor review it, who promptly dismissed it as pap.  But how many of us have the courage to look for real criticism?  Of course he made me take it to the professor.  Incidentally, who knows the web address he was saving for his screenplay/musical/blockbuster ?

        Jim always made time to visit with Monica and the kids and I in RI.  His visits were always a time of happiness and good cheer.  His support and energy when we saw him in Februray were what Monica was looking for when she started her new business then; and I know when he stopped by the house several winters ago and showed Amit some pieces on the piano, it inspired my son to take it more seriously.  Ashna still cherishes the Yankees hat that he gave, and remember we live in red sox country.  And like so many of you probably, I remember the walk we took in the snow thru an old cemetery in Kingston, and coming back to the house to dig up ancient history.  He was generous to all of us, with  time, words and thoughts.

        I'm not saddened by Jim's passing, because I fear sadness implies acceptance.   It's hard to accept this.  I'm terribly angry.  I just want him back..  We had many places to go, walks to take, movies to see, conversations to have, there was just a lot of life to live with him.  It was not hi s time to leave us.  We had a special connection with Jim, and there is now this certain emptiness confronting us when I look ahead.  I know Jim is fine wherever he is; I'm just being selfish in wanting him back.  We miss this good friend tremendously.

Mandeep, Monica, Amit and Ashna

I am thankful that I was able to attend the celebration of Jim's life this past Saturday in Pennington. Being able to give Chris, Chuck and Mrs Goodenough a hug and tell each of them how dear he was to me has helped me cope with this tragic and senseless loss. I hope that my presence and my words can bring each of you some measure of comfort in the days ahead. Jim and I met freshman year of college at the U of R in 1978. We have been friends for 27 years. When I think of that I realize how lucky I was to have him in my life for so long. In many ways we were opposites--he was tall, quiet, thoughtful, athletic. I was short, boisterous, impulsive and definitely not athletic. Our religious beliefs and politics were different. Yet, in the ways that really count, we were of the same mind. He valued family, friendship, honesty, integrity, intellect and fun. He challenged me to make the changes I needed to make in my life. When I was in a bad job situation he was the one who told me to move on. I listened to him and never looked back. I always considered Jim the brother I never had. That is why my husband Will and I asked him to be an usher at our wedding. My heart and mind are flooded with memories of our 27 years as friends. One story I would like to share dates back to 1998. I was one month away from the birth of my first son , Liam. Jim knew how much we wanted a child and the sadness we had experienced when I suffered two miscarriages. He was so excited for us. He was, I believe, a bit miffed when he was not invited to the baby shower, an all female event. The fact he was not invited did not deter him from presenting us with a gift. He knew that I was related to an artist named Trisha Romance. He knew I loved this artist and her work. He wrote to her and asked her to sign two decorative plates that she had designed and to write me a personal note. The plates depict mothers holding babies. He sent the gifts to our friend Chrissie and asked her to bring them to the shower. During my shower I opened these gifts and was absolutely delighted to receive them. I was even more delighted to know that Jim had gone to such great lengths to select something so special. These plates hang in a place of honor in my home and will always serve as a reminder of my beloved friend Jim. When I am gone they will passed down to my sons, who had the honor of knowing Jim and have benefitted in so many ways from his generosity. I will miss his smile, his hugs and his friendship. He lives in my heart forever. Michele Crain

MICHELE ROMANCE CRAIN

Michael Perron wrote:

It was the wishes of the Goodenough family for the Stone Age tourney to continue. So tonight will feature the doubles semi-finals and the singles final. Instead of white, players have been encouraged to wear black, out of respect for Jamie Goodenough.

Regards

Mike

Chris,

I was really angry and sad on learning of Jim's death. I don't like to cry, but I did and when Vanessa consoled me she agreed with me that Jim was a great guy and deserving of all the crying we were both doing. Jim was great in all the ways you could ever hope a person would be. And quirky and fun and real in ways that only Jim could be.

I came home Tues. and drank some wine and tried to understand how Jim could have collapsed. All I could remember is how alive and complete he looked when I visited him two Saturdays ago. We talked about future internet businesses, how his home business was going great and looked forward to group trips in the Fall. He inspected my new home when we stopped by and pronounced the yard suitable for our first party - very Jim-like.

My friend, Rosie, called to console me. She's a Buddhist. I told her I felt cheated. That Jim didn't get a chance to do everything he wanted, that I thought maybe this year he'd find a cool woman, that Vanessa and I were moving to PA and wanted to hang with him... so many things that I just thought would happen. Rosie said nothing really gets rid of the pain, but she said that Buddhism teaches you not to project forward. She said these are stories of things that might have happened and by thinking of them I am making even more pain. She said nothing could justify Jim's death, but that thinking of the stories that did happen would lessen the pain and honor Jim's memory. That's what I've been trying to do for the last day. Vanessa remembers Jim's laugh. I remember his "Libraness". It still hurts, but my life is richer because Jim was in it. I was blessed to have him as a friend.

This probably doesn't help. But what I'm trying to say in too long an email is that the pain won't go away, definitely not for a long time, but that Jim brought so much love and goodness into our lives that when you remember those times you can't help but feel more hopeful.

Call me -- anytime -- if you want to talk.

DG

I would love to say something at the service, thank you for including us.
Jamie's friends were a very big part of his life.

Today I went back and read old emails that Jamie had written me - he was so
intelligent and funny and quick witted. I know that more recently I didn't
see him often, but he was still very much in my thoughts much of the time.
I am really going to miss him.

Know I am thinking of you and your family.

Julie

Dear Ms. Goodenough, Chuck, and Christine:   Pat Racette gave me the very sad and devastating news of the passing away of Jamie.   I am very sorry to hear this.  Jamie may have not mentioned to you about me but he and I met in Rochester in the early 80's when I was doing my Ph.d. at the Simon school.  I don't know how we met but I am glad we met.  Like Jamie I also love playing tennis and Jamie and I used to play very often.  It was not unusual for us to play tennis till midnight or even later if the gym was open.  In the process Jamie and I became good friends and spend time together with our other common friends.  Unfortunately, we lost touch with each other when I moved out of Rochester.  Recently, through Pat, Jamie and I exchanged some e-mails.  And I was hoping that we could meet soon to play some more tennis.   But it will not happen.

I know the passing away of Jamie is a devastating not only you but to everybody who came to know him.   He was a gentle and fun loving man, who would always brightened my days after a hard day of classes.  He was very competitive on the tennis court and got the best out of me, and in the process taught me how I could do better. He always seems to be happy and a had very positive attitude towards life, which positively affected everybody around him.   I share and understand your deep sorrow and anguish at the passing away of Jamie.  You and your family will be in my thought and prayers.   Please accept my deepest condolences. 

Vinod

Chuck,

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I was just talking to Jim a few weeks ago because he had moved to Yardley, where we live, and we were looking for a time to get together for a bar-b-que.  Besides being incredibly intelligent and creative, Jim was kind and good to his core.... I thoroughly enjoyed working with him and I will miss him.  I have been trying to recruit him back to my employ for the past year and a half... he really liked the self-employed thing!  (Or did not like working with me!)

Warm Regards,

Bob

Chris, I can't get over the loss of Jim.  He was such a great person and a wonderful friend, advisor, and confidante.  I wish I had a chance to say goodbye or to talk to him again.  Everyone here, including me, is taking the news badly.

Yours, Andy

Dear Marina,

Our Aunt has notified us fo the death of Jamie, Chuck's brother and also the death of his friend. I wanted to send our sentiments, with the specialness of family especially to Senora MaryPayne and to Chuck. We are all very sad and ask God to give you all strength in this difficult time. A big hug and our love

Regina Helena ( my cousin), Renata (my nhhiece), Mariquita (my aunt), Ines and her sons (my other cousin and her sons) Paulinho and Gisele (my cousin and his wife) Geraldo e familia ( my other cousin, his wife and 2 daughters) Cristina e familia ( my other cousin in Italy, husband and children.

Jim Goodenough was an intelligent, unassuming, good hearted, level man who cared deeply for his family and was a good friend to many people. I met him during college years at The University of Rochester and enjoyed his friendship for many years since graduation. Living many states apart now, I did not see him often but appreciated our electronic communications at Christmas and throughout the year.

I will particularly remember Jim when thinking of or seeing:
* Freshmen in all male dorms like Hoeing and that group that entered in Fall 1978they were a "good group of guys"
* His long purposeful stride while crossing The University of Rochester campus, seeing him talking to Steve Lynn while crossing the bridge to Hill Court
* Gathering at the end of a long day at Frederick Douglas Dining Center with Jim and many other good friends, enjoying their good company
* Well delivered jokes with soft-spoken punch lines and deep laughs
* Movie weekends in Rochester at Jim's apartment
*Christmas e-cardsJim was the first friend to send one
Men who express concern and love for their families..Jim talked about his sister Chris' divorce and wanted to support her and his niece and nephew as they adjusted, he welcomed being closer geographically so he could be more helpful.and he worked to support his parents through his father's death, wanting to help his mother as she grievedhe truly loved his family
* A good tennis game

Jim will also be remembered in my actions---I will donate to the Cardiac Unit of Children's Hospital of Philadelphia as Jim would appreciate and will encourage even my physically fit friends to be aware of their cardiac health.

My prayers are with Jim's family and closest friends as all mourn his unexpected and early death from this life.peace be with you.

Angela Lowder
8.19.05

What lives on in my memory of Jamie is his incredible kindness. As an
Uncle he reached out to my children Caitlin and Kyle even when it wasn't
convenient for him, going out of his way to do things that were fun or
enriching in some way in their young lives. He was especially generous
with his time with Caitlin, in her special times of need the last couple
of years as she started those difficult teenage years. He spent time
with my Mom and Sister whenever he could, something he really didn't have
to do and wasn't expected to do after Christine and I divorced. I have a
personal fond memory of him coming over to my hotel to play tennis while
I was on business in Rochester a few years back. This was the mismatch
of the century, but he patiently taught me a lot about improving my
backhand as he tried to throttle back and let me win a few points in the
process. And i will never forget the brilliance of his writings in our
sometimes raging family email debates, and fortunately for all of us, his
words are captured in our email systems and will be there for all of us
to re-read and pass on to our kids.

Jamie, our memories of your intelligence, wit, kind heart, and generous
nature will live on forever. All of us have been so privileged to know
you and spend time with you. God bless you and God rest your soul.

Eric Roberts

Dear Chuck,

I just wanted to say how surprised and sorry I was to learn of Jim's passing. I knew him as a kind and dedicated man. We were always extremely happy with the work he did while employed at Sandvik Publishing. I also had the pleasure of having him visit us here in Norway for a few days in 2002.

My sympathies go out to you and the rest of your family. What a great loss.

Kind personal regards,

Marius Sandvik

August 19, 2005
I am Jamie's niece Nadia. Although Jamie had not been a part of my technical 'family' since I was born, he always made me feel as though I had been part of the Goodenough's since birth. One of my fondest memories of Jamie is cross country skiing with his brother Chuck, and I in Tahoe, CA, it is a perfect example of his love for his family, friends, active and athletic lifestyle and the outdoors. Thinking about Jamie a very precise visual comes to mind; he is sitting on the couch in the living room in that green robe,Auggie on his knee, Kyle by his side as he sits there beaming in the glow of the christmas lights. He was an amazing uncle, brother, and son. The impact that he made on all our lives in such a now seemingly short amount of time is a testament to how amazing he was and will be remembered as. He always had a smile on his face and he always put other's needs and concerns before his own. He had the sort of charisma and charm that drew people towards him and I think this is one of the many reasons why people loved him soo much.

TO my East coast Goodenough's: I love you all so much. I wish I could be there with you guys to hold you and tell you I love you.
Love'n'joy to all. xoxo Nadia
  
Nadia Ghani (Los Angeles, CA )

The Trenton Times

Goodenough great loss to area tennis community

Sunday, August 21, 2005

ANN LOPRINZI

This column was going to be about the Stone Age Open,
a popular annual Mercer County tournament, but now it
doesn't really matter who won or what the score was.

What does matter is that the tennis community suffered
a great loss on Monday night, when Jamie Goodenough, a
44-year-old accomplished player from Yardley, Pa.,
died of an apparent heart attack while playing his
first-round match at Mercer County Park.

It's been a rough week for Jamie's mother, Mary, an
excellent player in her heyday and well known in this
area, and her family. It's also been a rough week for
Jamie's many friends and those who were around that
night. He was playing with his long-time doubles
partner, Andrew Humphreys, against Marc Vecchiolla and
Todd Weakley and receiving serve at 3-4 in the third
set when he fell to the ground. "Everyone was a mess,"
said one observer.

Bill Stoner, one of the tournament honorees, was one
of numerous people who helped everyone get through
this tragic evening. Stoner happens to be a very good
friend of the family and gave Jamie his first tennis
lesson when Jamie was about 12. A quiet, tall,
good-looking young man, Jamie played tennis for
Hopewell Valley High School, from which he graduated
in 1978. He went on to the University of Rochester for
his undergraduate degree, then earned a master's
degree in business administration. He was
self-employed.

Tennis was his passion, however, and many of his
friends were from tennis.

"He had a large group of friends, a large variety of
men and women. He had the most unique talent to
combine these different people, and they all became
friends. He built groups," said his mother. "He did so
many nice things quietly and we're still discovering
them."

Jamie had a heart arrhythmia condition, but it was
monitored with regular checkups and never was
considered a problem. He was the picture of health -
he didn't smoke or drink, and he ate sensibly.

A number of stunned players gathered at the Mercer
County Outdoor Tennis Center for the finals Wednesday
night. For the rest of the tournament, which the
family asked to be concluded and not canceled, the
players all wore black in Jamie's memory rather than
the white preferred for this unique event in which
wood and pre-1976 metal tennis rackets are used. After
the finals, it was announced that starting next year,
the doubles plaques will be named after Jamie.

Humphreys met Goodenough at an interclub match in
1998. They clicked and had been partners ever since.
They had just concluded a satisfying summer by playing
in the Cryan Tournament and then finally winning the
5.5 doubles division of the Mercer County summer
league.

"It was tough," said Humphreys about returning to play
the singles final. "I was going out there for Jamie.
It's so hard to take in. I never want to play on that
court again."

Memorial contributions may be made in Jamie's name to
the Cardiac Unit of the Children's Hospital of
Philadelphia, 34th St. and Civic Center Blvd.,
Philadelphia, PA 19104.

I think it's important to say that Jamie knew you all loved him. I told him I loved him every time I saw him and he heard it from me in many of the thousands of emails we shared over the last 12+ years. So, I know he knew.

It has been almost a month now and I still find it hard to go a few hours without thinking about him. It's still very surreal and hard to take in...we really miss you Jamie.

Memory Cards are available to anyone who requests them. Just send an email with a mailing address and we'll put one in the post for you.

Please let me know if anyone would like to add words or if something should be taken down from public view. chuck@chuckgoodenough.com

This is an important place for these words because I know Jamie and believe me, he's already got his internet access fired up in his new place...and he'll be wantin' to hear from you guys right away...

We love you Jamie,

Chuck & Fam.